Behind the Uniform

Below is an impressive line-up of the uniforms and roles my husband has worn since we started dating. In order he has served as a: Marine, National Guardsman, Police officer, Firefighter, and EMT. Many of these roles have taken place co-concurringly.

When we first started dating, little did I know what I was getting myself into. He was in a period of transition at the time wanting to finish up his reenlistment in the Marine Corps and work at a Naval Shipyard, vying to forget soldier life and a razor. Little did he or I know that he wasn’t ready to give up the uniform. We flung head first into marriage, followed by a home and one year later, preparing for pregnancy. I found myself as the wife of another soldier in the National Guard. When that commitment was approaching its end, I breathed a sigh of relief only to be faced with a situation in which he wore two uniforms at one time. The days and nights were long, weeks rolled into months. Our daughter developed separation anxiety, the crying was sometimes relentless. The drying uniforms hanging by the washer a continual reminder that I had married a wolf not a sheep dog.

It became clear that Chris was a “special breed” (as he refers to himself). A day job wouldn’t fulfill, wouldn’t satisfy. I cannot explain the disappointment and shame he felt when the flag was not lowered appropriately for Holidays, etc. The shaking of his head when people in parades were marching out of step or they dragged the flag. The washing machine became not just a place for dirty laundry, but a container for loose bullets forgotten in cargo pockets. The smell of the sweat filled ballistic vest never went away. He does what he does not because he can and others can't, but because he will and others won’t.

Chris noticed some barriers to the ways he could help others as a Police officer. He was bound by the laws of the State. Chris wanted to add Firefighter and Emt training to his bucket of tools. I cannot be more proud of him than I am today. Not just because of his accomplishments, but because of his selflessness. To him, it's not even serving or sacrifice, it's a commitment, a duty, and a calling. Show support to a lady behind the uniform. They are the ones feeling the real sacrifice. Chances are she is jealous of your husband's 9-5 no holiday gig but she won’t show it. Chances are she is tired of being alone on holidays but she doesn't feel worthy enough even to complain because when she thinks of what her husband is doing, self can't enter the picture. Today my daughter's public school not only held school, but put on a musical about mother goose. While it was cute, it had nothing to do with anything. I challenge us to not rely on other's to teach our children what they should know about this Country, because it may not happen She and I are celebrating our hero tonight with a nice meal alone at home because this is what real life looks like. It looks like 12 to 24 hour shifts. It looks like celebrating birthdays and occasions before or after they occur. It looks like waiting up at night. It looks like long lists of everything you needed to but couldn't communicate about during that 24 hour period. It looks like goodnight notes left on the kitchen counter. It looks like leftover meals in the fridge.

I cannot say that this marriage has turned out to be what I had imagined when we first met. Not even close. We had no idea the highs and lows it would bring. The surprises, the adventure, the mysteries. I wouldn't trade it for my thin, flat self-planned life in a heartbeat. Marriage is about sacrifice and forgiveness. Everyday. It is not easy to be the wife behind the uniform, behind the badge. We have more dress uniforms, boots, weapons, lock boxes and ammo boxes than I would like to have. And, oh the boots…those warrant a second mention! But I wouldn’t know what this life would be if I had my choice from the start. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. We are in it to win it every day through God's grace. The world doesn’t owe me or you a thing. You are not guaranteed tomorrow, not even today. Freedom is not free. Even Jesus isn’t free. It will cost you something, maybe even everything. Freedom costs the families behind these uniforms something. Hug a neck, shake a hand, and support a military family or local hero. Show respect, dignity, and honor to those who support our country and our communities; you owe them more than you think.

#MemorialDay #ForFreedomweareFree #WifebehindtheBadge