That Hard Thing

It was a brisk winter day when I arrived home after dropping my daughter off at school. I ran in the house to escape the cold, anticipating a relaxing morning alone. I planned to bask in the peace away from my 9-5. I was greeted by an overly excited dog and I must admit, I was happy to see him too. You see, we fostered Otto about a week ago and he had already won the hearts of my husband and daughter and mine too. He was extremely handsome and mild mannered. He didn’t even bat an annoyed eye at a bantering cat or a smothering child. He was perfect, well nearly. There was that one frustrating thing we soon discovered he did. Okay, two things…he ate from the cat litter box (grotesque) AND dumped over the trash can to eat from it. I mean, who eats feces?! And who dumps over a 30 gallon stainless steel trash can (with a lid, I might add) to eat rotting food?!Ugh.

I admit, I lost my temper and sent off a piercing text to my husband saying I couldn’t do this anymore. I cleaned up the mess and laid on my bed and cried. I couldn’t believe I was in this place again. Every animal seemed to show its ‘true colors’ after a week and after many failed attempts, here I was again. I thought about how I would do it. My daughter was at school and that was the perfect time to make up a story about how he got sick and needed to go back or maybe how someone else wanted to adopt him. I cried tears of failure and related everything that didn’t work out, back to that very moment. I had failed at everything! I was failing right now! Those faint whispers came from my flesh and took some authority to push them out.

This was supposed to be different this time. After all, we had fostered him knowing he was a ‘safe bet’ based on what the shelter staff member said. I had quickly learned that when it comes to ‘safe bets’ in life, there are none. A bet, is still a risk, even if it’s an educated one. And then it came to me: God doesn’t make failures. I thought about how badly giving him back would hurt my daughter. I thought about the tears in her eyes and the waver that would be in her voice as she spoke her grief. I looked at Otto and then I saw it. I saw how hard he was trying to fit into another new home. I saw sadness and fear, shame and grief. And there it was. Tucked underneath all that mess was Love. I saw how hard he needed love.

And then I did it. I did that hard thing with all of my softened heart. I sent a compromise text to my hubby. I hopped on Amazon and ordered the tools that would curb his bad choices. Grace, love, and mercy had won. I had bet on that hard thing with all I had in me. I felt a sense of accomplishment well up inside and I breathed a sigh of relief. I went to where he was waiting patiently at the edge of the bed and gave him a big hug. I looked deep into his sad eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.” It was the most heartfelt apology I had ever given an animal. In the stillness of that cold day, I realized something transformational. I had just given another second chance. I was created by a God of countless second chances and I had cashed in on my fair share. Since He is the creator of all things, we are to give second chances to animals too. Yes, even those ones who eat poo.

It felt so much better to brave that hard thing than to quit. God gives us grace to persevere through those default patterns, if we allow him. And so I took a chance on love because He has shown me the greatest love. So have a moldable heart today and give grace where grace is due. <3

Encouragement for your week:

Hebrews 4:16 NIV

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Matthew 18:21-22 NIV

Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I don't tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.