Are you playing it small?

This has been a unique season for me, one that I have never been in before. I have truly been in unchartered waters. It has been exciting and scary all at once. It is a season of vulnerability and expectation. Have you ever been there before? Maybe you are there today.

It was a decision making day…I know, that sounds odd to do on a Monday, but I had put these decisions off since Friday for fear of making the wrong choice. I had been making some choices and then a feeling of disappointment came over me. I realized that the decision I had made was very far beneath my skill set. It suddenly came over me that this decision was overly safe. And then it hit me…most of my life I had made safe decisions. I had played it small. I had chickened out, letting fear, doubt, and worry drive me.

Thankfully, I was able to realize this by the help of practicing EFT Meridian Tapping, courtesy of Nick Ortner and Dr. Kim D’eramo. If you have never heard of how EFT tapping influences neuropathways in the brain, please do research it! www.nickortner.com #LifeChanger. I have been able to experience some breakthroughs in my family and career life by practicing it. It is a great method for personal development, to say the very least.

I began to ponder what success might look like. The fears that had been overtaking my life suddenly had a name. I was afraid of what success might mean. What responsibilities would I have? Would they be too great? Would I feel overwhelmed? Who would I disappoint? Myself? My family? My peers? What if I didn’t have enough energy? What if an old illness came back? Would I be too stressed for my family?

My mind was filled with countless ‘what ifs’ that had been planted there for decades by a thief. He had been stealing my confidence for quite some time. He has been like this cute, little, harmless mouse in my basement, sneaking in through an unknown crack, only to be discovered at the opportune time when you see its entrance hole. I had this mentality that I should love everything no matter how big or small. But this is my house! What if that ‘harmless’ mouse ate our wiring or caused further damage to our home by chewing? It was time to take back my home and my thought process. I thanked God for unveiling these insecurities and then rebuked Satan from control of my mind.

Looking back on my meager self-confidence, it wasn’t all that harmless after all. Playing it small had held me back from supporting my family the best I could, from my Divine calling, and from influencing other women. Ouch. Think of all the women I could have encouraged by now if I only had exercised confidence! Our enemy is so very sneaky. It doesn’t take him more than a crack of an entryway to plant seedlings of doubt, fear, worry, insecurity, and the list goes on and on. One thing I learned from my pastor recently is, if the enemy can’t destroy us, he will destroy our confidence.

He can mask our thoughts to thinking we are making the right decision based on love for others. For example; I have to get this perfect or not at all. If I’m not perfect than no one will love me. I have to be the very best Mom so that means that I have to sacrifice myself for my children. Don’t get me wrong, some women are called to be stay at home Moms. Others are motivated into it by fear and guilt. I only know one author of fear and guilt, do you? It is surely NOT my Heavenly Father.

So I made a conscious decision to change my course. My heart raced with some anticipation, worry, and yes, even a hint of fear, BUT I did that big thing with courage. I am thankful that God will meet me right where I am, in whatever bit of courage that I have. No matter what the outcome, my Heavenly Father is proud of me.

As it turns out, that decision didn’t work out and the door was never opened. Oh well. I lost nothing but I gained confidence in at least trying. Guess what? Another decision that I had worked up the confidence to make, DID work out. I am confident in the Lord’s plans. God has plans to prosper us! (See Jeremiah 29:11) But how can He prosper us if we are unwilling to leave our comfort zones?

You see, I would rather take a shot and miss than not ever aim at all. Christian Ronaldo once said, “A winner is just a loser that tried one more time.” What do you have to gain by playing it small? Safety? Security? You will also gain a lot of missed opportunities and what-if thinking. I would rather take a chance and gain the potential opportunity of a lifetime than not show up and miss it completely. After all, how can we make progress if we never try?

Reflection:

Are you playing it small in your career? In your goals? In your dreams?

In what areas can you put your trust and hope back on the table?

What area can you play it big in today?

#Dreambig #TakebackyourConfidence